Categorized | Featured, News

Woman victim: The abuse just had to stop

Woman victim: The abuse just had to stop

Mae (not her real name) is a victim of verbal abuse by her ex-boyfriend, whom she thought would be someone she could love and spend the rest of her life with. But she started to think twice about that dream when he started to abuse her emotionally and verbally.

Sige lang ko niya siyagitan ug makasakit nga mga pulong – nga wala kuno koy pulos. Iya kong paka-ulawan sa kadaghanan ug atubangan sa iyang mga barkada (He would shout hurtful things to me – that I was worthless. He would ridicule me in front of the public or when he is with his friends,)” she recalls.

Sa pila ka tuig, iya kong gi-abusar. Ug tungod niana halos mu-tuo na ko nga basin tinuod pud iyang ginapamulong nako. Gikaminusan na pud nako akong kaugalingon (for years, he had been doing that to me. And because of that I started to believe that maybe he was right. I felt ashamed about myself.)”

After being constantly harassed and abused by her ex-boyfriend for almost four years, she finally took the courage to report her case to the authorities.

Naay gamay nga tingog sa akong huna-huna nga gasulti sa ako nga gikinahanglan na gyud nga maundang kini – nga gikinahanglan nako depensahan akong kaugalingon sa legal nga pamaagi. Ang katong tingog maoy naghatag kanako ug kaisog nga mu-report sa otoridad (there was deep voice inside me telling me that this has to stop – that I have to fight for who I am, legally. That voice gave me the courage to finally report my case to the government authorities).”

While her case is currently being handled by the DSWD and the courts, she is now residing at the Regional Haven for Women run by the Department for adult women under very difficult circumstances.

Nakita nako ang akong panimalay dinhi nga nagpahinumdum sa ako nga naa koy pulos – nga ako adunay katungod (I have found a home here where I am reminded that I am not worthless at all, that I am somebody with rights),” Mae says. “Kumpara niadtong mga niagi nga mga tuig, makaingon gyud ko nga arang-arang na ko sa akong gibati ug sa spiritwal nga kabahin (compared to what I have been through for the last few years, I could definitely say that I am getting better emotionally and spiritually).”

Mae is one of the 52 women who are currently residing at the Haven today, receiving counselling, psychological therapy and even medical interventions, while their cases are still being handled. The residents also receive livelihood trainings and seminars to prepare them for their reintegration to their families and communities.

Rosanel Pague, Center Head for the Haven, believes that a lot of women are still out there who are experiencing abuse and exploitation because they are too ashamed to admit that they were victimized. “The first step is to report their case and seek counselling from social workers or from spiritual leaders. Reporting their case is just one of the things that we need to do to stop violence against women.”

Kailangan gyud sila musumbong sa mga otoridad nga gi-abusar sila (they need to report to the authorities that they were abused),” Mae says, referring to the women victims who are too ashamed to do so. “Kay kung dili, magpadayon gyud sila nga magpuyo sa kapildihon ug sa kasakit (because if not, they will continue to live defeated and violated).”

Written by Charmaine P. Tadlas, DSWD

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

This post was written by:

- who has written 188 posts on DSWD Field Office X Official Website.


Contact the author

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Calendar

March 2015
S M T W T F S
« Feb   Apr »
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
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